Blessed

Last night was rough...we got some unexpected hospital bills(from the time I had to go get a CT scan and meds for an awful migraine) and it really got me down. Oh, they were unexpected because we thought our insurance was covering it all...come to find out, they aren't. So I was home alone, missing Sam while he was at work, knowing I'm not going to see him much this week cause I'm working a total of 52 hours, and let's just say my emotions got the very best of me. I lost it. I was crying like a baby. And ya know how it is, one thing bums ya out, and then you're able to think of a million other reasons to get even MORE bummed...yes. I did that. I was STRESSING about our baby, worrying about being able to save enough money so that I can take 4-5 weeks off work when it comes, and having enough to buy all the things we'll need..that in itself is enough to overwhelm me! But then I started to fret about if I'm really cut out to be a mom...I know I have a ton of experience with kids, and know I can handle 5 kids, 6 yrs and younger, but I'm able to leave at the end of the day, and go home to my quiet apartment and do my own thing...so I often wonder if the Lord knew what he was doing when he decided it was time for us to have a baby. (ok, I totally don't REALLY think that...obviously I know He did, and I know we won't face anything we can't handle.....but sometimes I have a hard time fully grasping and understanding that.....) And then I started to get sad that my mom and sisters are so far away and won't be able to be at the hospital with me and stuff like that. My mom is going to come down for a bit to help out, but it's gonna be super hard for me when she has to leave. I get choked up thinking about now....oh brother, I'm emotional. Anyway, so last night wasn't my best of nights. But I talked to my amazing mom, and my in tune with the Spirit husband, and was able to calm down. I have such a strong testimony of tithing, so I don't know why I always seem to stress about having enough money..isn't that retarded??? We ALWAYS make it and ALWAYS have enough, you'd think I'd learn to chill out a little... But they both reminded me to have faith and as long as we're doing our part, the Lord will take care of us. And GOSH that is so true, and I know it!!!!!!! I really do know it. I just need to ALWAYS remember it cause it's so reassuring and comforting. Anyway, so I was laying in bed trying to sleep, and I started thinking that even if we do have a lot of stinkin bills to pay, and even if we won't have the fanciest and nicest things for our baby, and even if we don't have the biggest apartment, and even if we do live 13 hours away from my family and on and on and on....I have SOOO SOOO SOOO much to be thankful for. I started naming things off in my head and even though I was feeling much better, it helped me out even more!!! Here are a FEW things that I thought about...



-I have an amazing family who is always there for me, and I married into a great family as well. We've got it made on both sides :)


-I have the best job in the world. Seriously, who else gets to go and play with 5 ADORABLE kids all day, and get paid for it?


-We have a cute little apartment...its really little, but its all we need. Even with a new baby here in a few months, it'll be enough! And it's a place we can always go and feel 'at home' and feel the Spirit there. How great is that?! Pretty darn great if ya ask me...


-I married the most amazing human being on earth. Now, Sam and I have had our very fair share of struggles..and ya know what? I'm actually thankful for them. I can honestly say that...it's just brought us closer and we've grown a crazy amount even in the last 6-7 months. And even more since we found out about little Levatau...Sam is such a great husband and Priesthood holder. I love that I can ask for a blessing at any time and not have to worry or wonder if he's worthy. I love that he's always so on top of us paying our tithing and fast offerings. He's my best friend in the whole world. He makes me smile and laugh every day. I know he's going to make an amazing dad, and I can't wait to see him hold our tiny little baby in his great big arms... Don't mean to brag, but I did a dang good job in picking out a husband! :)


-We both have great callings, in a great ward that we both LOVE! We never wanna leave...


-We are lucky enough to own 2 really good, dependable cars. Not many people have one dependable car, and we have 2!


-I'm lucky enough to have a little tiny person growing inside of me...the little tiny person has made me real sick a lot of times, but I'm already so so so so so in love with our baby. I can't wait to find out if its a little girl or boy...but every day I fall more and more in love with him/her. And I know it is such a blessing for us to be able to have a baby come into our lives.



-Sam and I both have the best friends anyone could ever ask for and know we can call them anytime for anything.



-I'm so thankful for my eternal marriage, and that Sam and I will be together forever. And that the little family that we are starting to create will be eternal as well. Aaand, that I'll be able to see my Dad again someday.



-I'm really thankful for AC in my apartment, car and at work because its 89 degrees here today and its like death. I can't even imagine it getting 20 degrees hotter here...I just might die this summer from the darn heat.



I have so so many more blessings in my life, but I'll stop there before I get too carried away...you all get the point. :) I'm a very lucky girl and the last thing I need to do is feel sorry for myself...a lot of people have it a lot worse than me. I'm glad that I had a downer night so that I could sit and think about my life and how seriously blessed I am...