I have a million billion emotions going on inside my pregnant body lately...I don't even know where to start, so I'm not even going to attempt to!! But a few major things on my mind lately have been that my cute dad has been gone for 17 years. I can't even believe it. I thought his death would get easier and easier every year, but I've found as I've gotten older and gotten to new phases in my life, it only gets harder and harder. I remember being so sad about him not being there when I got married, but that morning in the sealing room I KNOW he was there with all of us, and I know he was so proud of me and Sam for getting sealed in the temple. His spirit was so strong there, and I think I cried more about that than actually getting married and being scared outta my mind! And when I think about him not being around to hold our sweet baby I get pretty emotional too... But I know that little baby is hanging out with him right now and that my Dad will be last person to kiss and hug him/her before we do!! It's SOOOOOO amazing and reassuring to know that I WILL see him again someday, and that my sweet mom will have her husband around again. I cannot even imagine going thru what my mom has been thru in these last 17 years. She has dealt with more than most women her age, I'm sure, and she's done it all with unwavering faith and with a smile on her face. She's my inspiration...I love her so much. Dad was a lucky dude :)
Another biggie on my mind is our baby.. we find out TOMORROW what we're having!! I've known my whole pregnancy that we'd find out the sex of our baby, but for some reason, when I scheduled my ultrasound last week I got overwhelmed! I feel so anxious and nervous and scared and unsure! It's more and more real every day. Don't get me wrong, I'm so so so so so so excited to be a mom and for Sam to be a dad, but I'M SOOOOOO SCARED at the same time!!! It's a ginormous step that I hope we're ready for and can handle! Thank goodness we both have amazing families and friends to help us out along the way!
Anyway...I guess that is all for now. I will DEFINITELY be posting about if its a little Sam or Amy here in the next few days, and hopefully will have some pictures to show off as well! :)
8 comments:
I don't blame you for being scared... I remember the night we found out I was pregnant with Reese I was so happy and excited then a few hours later I was bawling, freaking out "what had we done? we're not ready for this..." Trust me it's the best thing in the whole world and it's still scarey, but you just do it. Can't wait to hear what you're having!
Your post almost made me cry! I know your Dad is with little baby Levatau too, & you and Sam will be great parents!
I love you Amy and I miss everyone so much. Your whole family is so stong and amazing. Get used to being scared, it doesn't stop. I worry everyday for my kids, but it's so amazing being a parent and at the end of the day, just remeber that you're doing the best you can. I'm so excited for you and sam and can't wait to here what you are having! Love you tons!!
Amy you and Sam are going to be such amazing parents! You both are more ready than you know! When that sweet little baby girl gets here and you hold her for the first time in your arms it will all come to you so naturally! It's amazing how that works, but it just does! Watching you with your nieces and seeing all that you do for them shows me that you already have such a strong maternal instinct! Your dad is so proud of you and everything you have done for yourself! You are such a great friend, daughter, wife, and soon to be mommy! :)
I love it when I check someone's blog and they have a new posting! And it is such a sweet one. I KNOW that your dad is very aware of what's going on in your life and is anxious for us all to meet the little baby that he's giving pep talks to. I know it can be overwhelming to think about becoming parents, but you and Sam are as ready to do that as anyone I've ever known. You just ooze love! Having a baby is such a miracle. Wow. You are such a blessing to me and to our whole family. You are the queen of love and compassion and I love you for that. Thanks for sharing your tender feelings and thoughts.
Loody loo - I love you! I'm so thankful for Sam, for loving you so much and making you so happy. You two will be great parents! And don't worry Dad picks out some spectacular little girls, I'm sure your milk chocolate version will be the sweetest! I love you so much.
I hear ya on the emotions, sista! I'm glad you know what's what with life though and know what can get you through everything the way its supposed to.
I love you sweet little sister and am excited to be pregnant together - so much more fun to share it with someone who is experiencing the same thing at the same time (or three weeks apart anyway...)
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